Monday, October 13, 2008

The great puppy caper

As I said previously we rescued a puppy. I use to word "rescue" loosely. So loose even Paris Hilton's vagina is jealous. Okay so we stole him. Don't be judging the puppy stealer's, it's not our fault. If dumbass people didn't buy puppies from a puppy mill, get them home and realize that they are a lot of work, you know because they need to eat, drink, poop, pee and breathe and then chain them up in their front yard for a week straight in the Oklahoma heat when they have a perfectly large, fenced in backyard with a ton of shade AND a doghouse then their puppies would not get stolen rescued! So save your judgemental tendencies for Sarah Palin, because she deserves it.

Okay, this is how it happened. Lin drives by a particular house on her way home every day. And for a week this poor little dog was chained up in the front yard. No shade. It was hot. Really, really hot. Did I mention that he was chained up? Because he was CHAINED UP. With chains! Every day she drove by this house and every day that poor dog was there. Just lying there all pathetic and needing someone who would love him in an air conditioned environment and get him a haircut because we won't be having any long-haired doggy hippies at our house. She actually thought he was dead at one point.

She finally told me about it so I said "Well, I guess were going to have to go steal rescue a dog tonight. After dark. With gloves on and discussing whether or not we need to put tape over the dome light and which one of us is driving and which one of us might possibly get bitten while trying to free this dog. Dog-napping takes planning y'all.

So we waited. After it got dark we took off into the night. We circled the block 3 times to make sure no one was watching and that the owners of the dog were indeed STILL not home. I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. I was so nervous and so afraid of getting caught, or shot. It would be difficult to explain away a gunshot wound. Especially to my boss and my mom.

We parked about a half a block away. I figured the less time I'm seen running down the street with a dog the better. I opened the door, put on my gloves and ran! The dog started barking at me but I put my fear aside, reached down and started to pet him and he rolled over and showed me his belly. This was a good sign that he wasn't going to chew my hand off. I grabbed his collar and tried to free him from the chain only I couldn't get the clasp open. After what seemed like forever and I'm sure it was probably only a few seconds, I flung my gloves off and opened the clasp. I grabbed my gloves, scooped the dog into my arms and ran like my ass was on fire.

I jumped into the car and we took off. The dog apparently had never had anyone pet him because his tail was wagging so fast it created a gust of wind. He was so excited. After we drove down the street a little I turned on the dome light and discovered that yes indeed the dog was male (I knew this because he had testicles.) What surprised me was that he was a puppy. We had assumed that it was a full grown dog, but his poochy little belly gave him away.

So that is how Claude joined our little, albeit expanding family.

We took him to the vet to get his shots and to get his nuts chopped off and the veterinarian said he was about 5 months old. Poor puppy. I am still so mad at the people who chained him up. He has turned out to be the sweetest little boy. He's still very hyper especially when we first get home or when strangers come over but he's slowly learning how to behave and the house training is going well. He rarely has accidents in the house.

We are convinced we made the right decision and we would do it over again. He needed us and I'm convinced now more than ever that we needed him.



Monica C. Schreiber said...

As a volunteer with non profit Dogs Deserve Better (see I cannot say that I condone your methods. We are constrained by the law in the rescue work we do and must work within the system. However, I certainly understand the desperation and sentiment you felt at seeing a puppy in chains day after day, week after week.

Sadly, an estimated 6 million dogs in the U.S. alone pace a small patch of mud or dirt, confined by a chain for years upon years. If we tried to come up with a more hideous form of torture for a social, intelligent pack animal like a dog, we'd be hard-pressed to devise anything worse than a life of solitary confinement at the end of a chain, tormented by parasites and flies, agonizing loneliness, no exercise, stimulation or love. Even if people think "oh, it is "just" a dog," you'd have to have a rusty fishhook in place of your heart to think that was an appropriate way to keep and confine a dog.

The good news is that communities across the country are finally (albeit slowly and with effective resistance from breeders and hunters) passing laws against lifetime chaining.

Check out our group!

Rage Angel said...


I understand your concern about our methods but let me assure you that we did not go into the situation without a lot of thought and an understanding of what we were taking on (and the laws we were breaking). My partner and I have opened our home as temporary dog foster parents and have on several occassions transported dogs across our state to make sure that rescued dogs did not end up in a kill shelter. I wish that time and money allowed us to do more but even just rescuing the one dog makes a difference, especially to that one dog. I wish there were more people in the world who could save just one dog.

Good luck to you and your organization.

Real Live Lesbian said...

I *do* condone your actions. Anytime you help the helpless escape, you're doing a good thing.

I stole one once. Purebred, beautiful Cocker Spaniel in an 8x8 pen with grass over it's head. Day in. Day out. It was left out there. No contact.

I do not regret it.

You do what you can, when you can.