Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I lied

I forgot that I have tomorrow & Thursday off which means I have a ton of deadlines today. I won't be able to finish my holiday post.


Forgive me?

I'll love you forever and be your best friend.

More coming soon. PROMISE!

Monday, December 29, 2008


I'm working on a post holiday post. Heh.

My fat pants are tight if that gives you an indication of how much I ate.

Muah! See you tomorrow bitches.

Friday, December 19, 2008

No worries....

...this will not turn into a baking blog. I just wanted to share my little baking adventure. Eugene and I had a blast making them and they were a huge hit with the kids at his school.

Speaking of school. He goes to a private Christian School (I know there is a joke somewhere in there about 2 lesbians raising a kid that goes to a Christian school) and last night they had their Christmas play. Eugene played the part of the Mayor of a town and he cut the grand opening ribbon for a business called Christmas Tree City. They sell Christmas trees if you didn't catch that part. The whole play was about how this business was giving away the Christmas Trees to get the story of Jesus out to the world. Don't ask. I don't know.

What I do know, is when you text your niece during the play, the time goes by a lot faster. We did however come to the conclusion that attending the play was my punishment for saying God Damnit all of the time. And because I was texting in Church I was going to hell, but since she was texting me back Meg is going to hell with me.

Do you think there is a special place in hell for people who text in church? There must be a really special place for me considering the Pastor of the church was sitting next to me. I'm sure he had lovely things to say about me later.

That's probably the reason I had dreams of fire and brimstone last night. A premonition of sorts.

Next week I'm on vacation, I will try to post a few times but I'm sure Lin has a list a mile long of things for me to do while I'm home.

Have a great weekend everyone, I'm going to stock up on ice, I have a feeling I'll need it later.


Thursday, December 18, 2008

Cake Balls Part 2


I was up so late last night trying to finish my balls. I had no idea it would take so long to put reindeer antlers on chocolate balls, or that the white chocolate took so long to cool off and get hard on my balls. (HAHA, I said "hard on") *snicker* *giggle* *snort* AHEM!

I started off with the Christmas Trees and I really had fun with them and I think they turned out fabulous!!! Here are a couple of pictures of the Christmas Trees...

After the trees I moved on to the snowmen, the first several turned out really well. My balls were really nice and smooth and the chocolate dried on them very quick so there wasn't any drooping at all. Then things went wrong, I'm not sure if the white chocolate was too hot or what but the chocolate started clumping and then it didn't want to stick to my balls so only about half of the snowman balls were asthetically pleasing to the eye. The rest were just shrivled up pathetic looking balls. Painting little faces on snowman balls isn't as easy as one would think. I'm not happy with they way they turned out and I doubt I will make them again. Here are a few pictures.

On to the reindeer. These were so fun. The chocolate was smooth but my balls were not. Somewhere in the initial cooling process my balls got a little wonky so some of the reindeer balls look a little deformed. These by far were the most fun. Although I need to come up with a better plan for the eyes, some of them looked like they had been sneaking a little nip of Santa's happy juice. Drunken reindeer balls they were. Here are a few pictures.

All in all it was a lot of fun especially if you leave out the part where I hit my knee on the cabinet and my back, legs and feet were hurting so bad that I wanted to cry. Next time I will figure out a way to sit down through the entire process.

This project was more about a trial run for Christmas Eve than anything else so my final analysis is this: I will do the Christmas trees again as the reindeer but for Christmas Eve I think I will just make plain old balls dipped in chocolate because DAMN that was a LOT of work.

Also, I dipped pretzels in the leftover melted chocolate. Yummy!

So, happy cake balls to all and to all a Happy Thursday.


Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Cake Balls Part I & an Update

Good news! The plumber only had to replace the thermal coupler thingy and not the whole hot water heater. And yes, thingy is an official word. In my world at least. So instead of having to pay several hundred dollars on a new one plus labor. It cost a whole $100.

Gigantic sigh of relief.

On to the balls (Please save all of the 12 yr old boy giggles for the end or you may never get through this post).

Baking the cake was a breeze. Just mix it up and pour it into the pan and bake. Molly likes to say "I want to pop the eggs", but then she freaks out and says "No Mommy, you pop the eggs". Yes, she is adorable but thank you for saying so.

Then I had to wait until the cake was cool before the next step so to pass the time I made spaghetti for dinner and washed dishes. In my little Fibromyalgia world, if I sit down, I'm done. So I had to stay on my feet for several hours which always makes for a rough night of sleeping and a sore body the next day.

After the cake was completely cool, I crumbled it up using 2 forks. This took longer than I had anticipated. It's soft cake, how long could it possibly take? *sigh* The next step was to add a container of cream cheese frosting and mix it all up. That was kind of fun, the cake was this huge glob like mass. Awesome!

I put a layer of wax paper on a baking sheet, then I started scooping up cake and forming it into balls. My balls were not the same size. Some were large, some were small and some were misshapen. Talk about odd balls. I had to get out a measuring spoon so I could measure my balls. What I was looking for was a nice consistent quarter size, perfectly round ball. Not too big because then my balls would sag. They needed to be nice and firm because it will be hard to finish them if I had squishy balls.

About every 5th ball that I rolled I had to wash my hands because my balls kept sticking. I don't think I'm very fond of sticky balls. So what I thought would be a fairly quick process turned into a fairly long process because if I'm nothing else I am a ball perfectionist. My balls have to perfect. No second rate balls for me, no sir! I had 51 balls and then a mini-ball. Lin grabbed one of my balls and it broke in half so I added it to the mini-ball to make a full size ball.

So once all of my balls were perfect and round I shaped 20 of them into cones for Christmas Tree shaped cake balls. We'll see how that turns out. I'm not real hopeful at this point. I may just have to stick with the balls and not stray from the true intention of the recipe.

I covered my balls up real tight in plastic wrap and tossed my balls into the refrigerator. My balls will be nice and cold tonight when I get them out and decorate them. I am so looking forward to dipping my balls into melted chocolate. I love chocolate.

So that was my adventure last night, I will be sure to let you know how the decorating goes and I hope to post some pictures of my balls tomorrow.

Happy Hump Day


Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Hot water heaters can suck it

You can probably tell by the title of my post that we are having issues with our hot water heater. That issue being that the FUCKER STOPPED WORKING LAST NIGHT! We can get it lit, it won't stay lit. We try to light it, it goes out. Rinse, lather, repeat.

The plumber will be checking it out later. I have a feeling we have a new hot water heater in our future. Especially since the tag on the heater says 1994. I'm guessing it heated up it's last bubble bath for Molly last night.

We so did not need this right now. I'm thinking about taking my Christmas gift back to the store to help with the purchase of a new hot water heater, and then maybe selling a kidney. We were pretty careful with our Christmas shopping this year, but we could have spent about $200 less than we did had we known that our hot water heater would die. Of old age apparently, without being noticed. *bangs head on the wall*

So today will be real interesting. Oh, and also, the heat in the office works real good now. I came in this morning to an 80 degree office. It's just now cooling off after taking a hammer to the thermostat and opening the front door.

My landlord LOVES me.


Monday, December 15, 2008

Cold tittays & other details

It's 16 degrees with a windchill of -1. GOOD TIMES! I just love it when my nipples feel like they're going to fall off. For future reference, do not go to work for a company that has a north facing office because you will spend a better part of the winter trying to keep your toes from turning blue and constantly strategically covering your chest area with a folder so no one will notice your rock hard nipples sticking out as far as the eye can see. And the eyes can see. Trust me, there have been enough dirty old men (and a few dirty women, but I'm not complaining about them) in and out of this office to know that their eyes see.

Did I mention that it's cold?

I work for a non-profit and we have 3 locations and an admin office. 2 of our locations will be closing on January 2nd. We will be firing 2 full time staff, 5 part time staff and 1 contract employee. This sucks on so many levels that I can't even express the magnitude of the suckage. In addition to this black cloud, it's possible that the company I work for will no longer pay for 100% of my health insurance premium and I will have to pay for 50%. Although this isn't a deal breaker, I am already paying 100% of my kids health insurance premium. It will cost me an additional $170 per paycheck for insurance. FUCK!

Staff parties, client parties, school parties, dentist appointments....I think I might just drop my basket over the stress. The holidays have never been this stressful for me. At least I have finished shopping. Small relief in my world.

The heat wasn't working in the office for a better part of the day, now? Now I am sweating bullets and my deodorant has failed me. Nothing like going home from a cushy desk job all stinky like I just got through digging a ditch. Awesome.

Lin is sick again. I'm so over the sickness in our house. Thinking about setting off a Lysol bomb and running like hell.

And Molly. God love my little girl. When you ask her what her name is, she says:

*Molly Smith Princess

How Cute is that?

*No, it's not her real name. Thank you and goodnight.


Wednesday, December 10, 2008

My Fugly Tree

I had a mini Christmas tree gathering dust at home.

No Christmas tree at work

*Light Bulb*

Decorate a Christmas tree for the office!

Fantastic idea! NOT

This is the reason why I let Eugene decorate our tree at home. I suck at it.

I may have to take it home and let him re-do it for me.

I so suck at this Christmas thing.

Feliz Navisuckyasschristmastree! NOEL!


Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Thanksgiving Post...it's about time

I know, I know. Thanksgiving was almost 2 weeks and I'm just now getting to it.

Thanksgiving in a nutshell:

Get up
Take shower
Gets kids up
Feed kids light breakfast
Check on Turkey (Lin is already at the aunts house cooking everything else)
Get call to go ahead on go out to aunts and help because Grandma won't wake up and they are going to the nursing home.
Rush around to finish getting ready
Drive like a bat out of hell to aunts house to find out that they really don't need my help
Get call from Lin, grandma is fine, she was just REALLY tired. She is on her way back to aunts house
Turkey was juicy and yummy
Rolls were light and fluffy
Gravy was to die for
Dessert sucked ass
Stayed longer than I wanted to waiting for other relatives to show up
Ditched Lin and went home without her
Crawled into bed
Turkey coma

The end.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Cake balls

I will post about Thanksgiving soon, but in the mean time...

I will be making Cake Pops (or cake balls..whatever you want to call them)f or Christmas and I need decorating ideas!!!

Don't know what Cake Pops are? Go here

Then leave me a comment with your ideas!