Friday, January 2, 2009

Christmas Update Part I

Holy Shit! I knew it had been a while since I blogged, but I didn't realize it had been this long. My sincere apologies to my 3 readers.

Where does one start when you've had a non-stop period of drama?

Let's put this in some kind of understandable order.

Monday, Dec. 22nd: Jesse's grandmother's blood pressure dropped and she became unresponsive. This was my first day of vacation. I got the living room cleaned and took a nap with Molly. Jesse's mom went to the doctor and was diagnosed with a torn Miniscus & will require surgery.

Tuesday, Dec. 23rd: Jesse's grandmother has shown no improvement, they are keeping her as comfortable as possible. I cleaned the kitchen and took a nap with Molly.

Wednesday, Dec. 24th: At 5:30 a.m. Jesse wakes me up to tell me her grandmother passed away. I jump out of bed to try to help her gather her things and go to the nursing home. 15 minutes later after I finally woke up and realized what was going on I made a cup of coffee, sat down at the kitchen table and cried like a baby. Then I watched a re-run of Beverly Hills 90210. After that I made eleventy billion chocolate covered pretzels before either of the kids woke up. Later, the pretzels would be a big hit. I also took another nap with Molly.

We usually have a Christmas Eve celebration at Jesse's mom's house. We have light finger foods, visit and exchange gifts. We had to have it at our house because there was no heat at Jesse's mom's house. CRAP. Do you know what kind of mad dash I did to clean the house. I was like the Tasmanian Devil with a dust buster in hand. Eugene got to play Santa and handed out gifts and it was a pretty fun night.

I received a very cute pendant with the letter K in it and a giant road map book (which I requested). The kids of course scored like they do every year and they hadn't even opened our gifts to them or "Santa's" gifts yet. The only down side was the fact that we bought both Jesse's mom and her sister a DVD and I addressed both of them to her sister. That's what happens when I'm left to be in charge of the wrapping. Why Jesse left the wrapping to the former JW who has very little experience in the wrapping category I have no clue. When I finally kicked everyone out got everyone out of the house I was relieved, except for the fact that Jesse's mom had to stay the night because of the no heat at her house issue.

Thursday Dec. 25th: Merry Fucking Christmas Bitches! We had a lovely Christmas morning with Jesse's mom. Eugene got everything on his list except 2 items (more on that later) and Molly was just giddy with all of her new stuff. I can't tell you how hard it was to stuff a Hilshire Farms sausage log into a stocking along with a can of easy cheese. The boy loves it! Santa left a box a crackers for him. (I can have a white trash moment as long as it is a brief moment)

After all the opening of the presents we started making breakfast. Biscuits & Gravy, scrambled eggs and Blue & Gold sausage. I had a big cup of coffee and I was happier than a puppy with 2 peckers! (Okay, 2 white trash moments). Then Eugene said the following: "I am very happy with everything that I got but I was a little disappointed that I didn't get one of the things on my list." Of course, I asked what that one thing was and he said "Iron Man on DVD." It was at that moment that both Jesse and I snapped our necks and looked at each and said at the same: "Shit! Where is it?" I didn't see that DVD when I got the rest of the DVD's out of the secret hiding place. I thought Jesse was gonna beat me down right at that moment. I swear to the little Christmas Elves that I did not see it. It's not my fault. I was overwhelmed with all of the wrapping and funeral planning and doctor appointments and house cleaning. What the hell, give me a damn break! Jesus H. Christ. So Eugene got a bonus gift it seems.

2 hours later we had to be on the road to Jesse's aunts house for Christmas Day lunch/dinner (lunner? linner? dlunner?) where Molly & Eugene got to open MORE gifts. I would to offically say that when I find the person who invented the tiny little plastic Barbie high heels I am going to punch him in the face. Those things hurt when you step on them and not even a little bit. When we finally got home I was exhausted.

I think I officially ate my weight in food during my Christmas vacation and I'm still not full.

Friday Dec 26th: What day is it? I watched TV and took a nap with Molly. I think that is really all I got accomplished that day. Jesse's brother flew in from California and they all gathered at Jesse's mom's house and I stayed home because I NEEDED A FUCKING BREAK!

To be continued......

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