Rules of my the road

Dear Oklahoma drivers,

Heed these rules or I will slash your tires and key your pretty paint job ala Carrie Underwood:

1. Put down your damn cell phone, newspaper, lipstick, chicken McNugget and put your left arm in, put your left arm out, put your left arm in and you shake it all about and pay attention, that is MY lane your inching into. Get any closer and I will CUT YOU!

2. Slamming on your brakes does nothing for me, does it do something for you? Because if you don't quit it, it will do "something" for the car repair shop your going to have to go to when I slam my gas guzzling SUV into the back of your little bitty car.

3. Every time you change lanes in an attempt to get into the "faster" lane, God kicks a puppy.

4. Honking your horn does not make traffic go faster, it does however make my middle finger go up faster.

Any questions?

Have a complaint? Call 1-800-SUCK-IT

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