*cough*
*cough*
*cough*
*cough*
*cough*
*tinkle*
"SHIT!"
Now come over here and give us a hug, I want to share this with you. This being the cough bitch that crushed my soul and then flipped me off before running off with my girlfriend and possibly my dog. He may just be hiding because he did not want to get peed on during my next coughing fit.
I tried Robitussin cough syrup, Mucinex, cough drops, Robintussin cough gels, and even my son's inhaler. Gotta love medicinal twitching! I was getting no relief whatsoever. *twitch* I called my doctor's office on Wednesday, they never called me back. Fuckers. So yesterday, I called again and waited and coughed and waited and coughed. They finally called me back and said "Oh, we called in a prescription for you yesterday, I'm sorry no one called you."
*Blink*
*Blink*
Are you fucking kidding me? Your killing me Smalls!!! I actually could have slept Wednesday night instead of coughing for hours on end and changing my undies at 2:00 am. GREAT!
So, after work I go to the pharmacy and they tell me that the medication that my doc called in no longer exists. NO LONGER EXISTS!
*Blink*
*Blink*
At that point, I think my head popped off. I'm not completely sure but I saw red and then I think I blacked out because I woke up with my head on backwards able to scratch that place on my back that I could never reach before. Go figure.
Now I'm beginning to wonder if my doc has Alzheimer’s or something because how in the world do you not know that a medication no longer exists? When I got home, I called the doctors office with every intention of being a complete spoiled bitch and leaving a nasty message on the machine and start looking for a new doc. I wanted to throw myself on the floor and kick and scream but they wouldn’t be able to see me anyway and then I would just be a sad pathetic person throwing a tantrum for my own enjoyment and throwing myself on the floor would just be ridiculous at this supposed adult stage in my life.
However, I got lucky. The message on their machine gave out the on-call doc's number so I called it and calmly explained everything to the answering service and waited for the on-call doc to call me back and 10 minutes later she called and lo and behold my doc was the on-call doc and she remembered who I was and remembered the medication she called in and apologized and apparently the FDA recalled a bunch of upper respiratory meds and she didn't realize that was one of them so she called in a new one, I had to wait an hour before I could pick it up and when I did go to pick it up they didn't want to give it to me because it had Codeine in it and I'm allergic to Codeine, but I can take synthetic Codeine and it took 10 minutes of begging and telling the pharmacist that I in fact would not die and for the love of GOD please give me the damn cough syrup before I lose my shit!
It took about an hour for the medication to kick in, but once it did, it was fucking awesome! I felt so much better, but then I had to plug in the heating pad because my back, ribs and stomach muscles were so damn sore from coughing so much and does that count as a workout and will it tone my abs?The medication was gooooood. When I say good I mean it knocked me on my ass enough that I could care less that I had an entire basket of undies to wash.
Good times.
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