For the first time I faced a homophobe. A true homophobe. I could not believe the hatred this person could write. I was appalled and stunned and I cried for an entire afternoon over this. For one, this person said and I am quoting here:
"There are some people who were born with a greater tendency to be homosexual. It covers a wide range - some more of a tendency, some less. Everyone can overcome their tendency. But once you sanction the behavior as normal (i.e. allow them to marry) then many borderline homosexuals will cross over into that world. Imagine a teenage boy who has had a few frustrating experiences with girls. He may now be susceptible to forging an intimate relationship with a warm and caring man. Many, in our dysfunctional society, are simply blocked in expressing normal love relationships with the opposite sex. That just means that they are chosen to perfect that part of the Torah, by overcoming their inclinations."
Believe it or not, this was the least offensive thing she wrote.
My first reaction was to rip her a new one, but I suppose I needed to set a good example and be a reasonable, articulate homosexual rather than a belligerent angry dyke.
First of all, the word "tendency" is not a word I am a fan of when it is in reference to a reason for being gay. You tend to like men or you tend to like women. In my world there is no "ish" in tend. And for her to suggest that you can "overcome" is as ignorant as saying a black person can overcome the color of their skin, or that a person born with Downs Syndrome can overcome their handicap. We are all born the way we are for a reason. God chose me to be the way I am, the way you are, the way she is and the way he is. There is nothing to overcome, there is only a way to live and I chose to live the life I was born to live. Unfortunately that means because she is a total homophobic bible thumping idiot, she is entitled to not have to overcome that as well.
Secondly, there is no such thing as a borderline homosexual. Especially when in reference to someone who has had bad experiences with the opposite sex to the point where they switch sides. It's absurd to think that allowing gays to get married would make a straight person be susceptible to being pushed over the "gay" edge by a broken heart. Seriously, did she have her Mormon head stuck in the ass of Joseph Smith himself?
I have been thinking about the things this person said for two weeks. I have been mulling it over, chewing on it, cursing about it, poking needles in a voodoo doll and praying so that I may have the patience to deal with her and those who share her opinions. I'm not a stand out kind of gal. I go with the flow and try not to rock the boat but after this experience I may need a ladder to get off my high horse.
I didn't change the way she felt, I didn't expect to. I hope that I at least gave her an intelligent articulate view of things from someone who just happens to be a lesbian. I know that some people put the fact they are gay on their sleeve. It's who they are, it's how they live, it's the impressions that they leave. For me? Being a lesbian is a small part of who I am. I'm Kathy, I'm a mom, a sister, an aunt, a daughter, a friend, a co-worker, a lover of music, an artist, a human.
After you go through the list of the things I am, at the bottom is a single word. Lesbian. It defines a small part of who I am and as far as I'm concerned, there is nothing on the list of things I am that I care to overcome.