Monday, March 2, 2009

My lips are better than yours

I just now realized that I do a really weird thing. I mean REAL weird. Everyone told me growing up that I was weird, my family, my friends, and now? My son says I'm weird. Okay, I get it. I'm weird, but I'm loveable. When I don't have PMS. Which I totally do right now. I just wish I would get the damn thing so I would STOP WITH THE CRYING DURING COMMERCIALS ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck.

Oh, I'm weird. About that. I just realized, that when I put on chapstick that I don't move the chapstick over my lips. I keep my hand still and I contort my lips in a back and forth motion that can only be described by comparing it to someone with really great fingernails scratching your back. You know that look on your face you get while you are "ooohing" and "ahhhhing"? The one where you make weird faces with your lips? Yeah, that's the one.

I move my lips back and forth across the chapstick while my hand remains motionless.

Yes I do.

Now you are wondering how you put on your own chapstick aren't you?

I'll bet you have your chapstick in hand right at this very moment.

I would also guess that you are looking for a mirror so you can see exactly how you put your chapstick on.

Aren't you?

Don't deny it, you can't fool me.

What is YOUR weird thing?


1 comment:

Real Live Lesbian said...

I howl with the dogs EVERY. MORNING.

It's such a habit that they stand in front of me as I'm peeing first thing....just waiting for me to howl.

Yes, I'm weird, too.