Thursday, March 19, 2009

Glory Glory and holy hell

My doctor and I made a mutual decision to change my medication. I was slipping into depression again and my outbursts of anger were getting more frequent and more violent. She thinks the outbursts were my version of panic attacks. I get that. I understand. Sometimes my anxiety has nowhere to go except out and toward those I love.

In addition to the fact that my heart rate is too high (again) we decided a change would not only be a good idea, but probably necessary. The new medication is geared more toward panic attacks and OCD whereas my other medication wasn't. The old medication also has a history of causing a high heart rate. So, it got the boot.

There is also a good possibility that I have degenerative arthritis. I have to find the time to go get an x-ray of my hands. In the meantime she gave me a pain relieving gel to use because owie ouch my thumbs hurt, especially when I have to type a lot. Oh, and I had lab work to check my thyroid because I just found out that all the women in my family have had a problem with theirs. You'd think that would be information I would have been given years ago. Woohoo! Something new to blame my weight on. My old excuses were getting....well, old.

The good news is I'm starting to feel something in my girlie bits. If you remember there is a section of my body that has been dead for a long time and I blame the medication I was on. No feelings, tingles or desires in that area of the body AT ALL. Jesse has been very patient. It's like my body has been a dried up desert for many a moon and a crystal clear lake of refreshing spring water has appeared on the horizon, only it's not a mirage. It's real. See that? That is my girl bits and they are twinkling in the distance ready to be rediscovered.

Hopefully soon I will be able to tell my beloved to dive right in baby, the water is fine.


1 comment:

Meg said...