Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Ring of Fire

You know, there is actually something to be said about experience making you a wise person. I consider myself wise beyond my years, especially after this past weekend.

Lin had a rare day off and it was her mission to get some things done around the house. She wanted to clean out the garage and she spent several hours accomplishing that mission. Her other mission was to salvage a cast iron kettle that had been abandoned in her sisters back yard for several years. Her solution to rid this kettle of rust was to burn it off via filling it with Crisco and putting it on the grill. The lit grill. The grill that has fire in it. A kettle full of grease on a lit grill. With the cover down. Do you see where I'm going with this? Should I draw a diagram?

I could leave it at that and let your imagination take you where it will, but what kind of a person would I be if I left it there? Well, I would the type of person who wouldn't needle their girlfriend to death about burning down the back yard. And I can't let that happen. When I noticed the smoke coming from the grill I asked Lin what was going on and she explained everything to me. I asked her "Aren't you afraid of it catching on fire?" (Remember that I asked this very important question) Her reply???? "Huh, no." (She said in a "duh" like fashion....a fashion in which she will regret later....5 minutes later to be exact) The next thing I know Eugene is telling me that Lin is yelling for me. I go outside and what do I see? Not only is the grill on fire, but the fence and the overhang is ON FIRE! Flames abound! She yells at me to crank up the water on the hose and she is spraying the grill. With water. The grill that is holding a kettle full of burning grease. Water + burning grease = no bueno baby!!

It took about 10 minutes to get the thing completely out and about 5 hours for her heartbeat to return to normal. I should have inserted an "I told you so" in there, but she summed it up by saying "Why do you let me do stupid shit?" So, after this weekend I have only one conclusion: I am a Mensa candidate, and Lin should just stand there and look pretty.

Did I mention that this is a brand new grill? Like purchased in June for Lin's birthday new. *sigh*


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