Hate Mail

Oh my gosh. I need to start off by saying THANK YOU because apparently I have more than 3 readers. I received hate mail from all of them but hello? More than 3 readers! I'm just so tickled. Thanks for stopping by assholes, there is more to come that is sure to piss you off. Come back and see me ya hear?

Lets address both of the morons who emailed me a nasty little note shall we?

Robert M. said "Your a fucking idiot. You shouldn't be complaning about your job. At least you have a fucking job. Shut up and be gratfull that you are able to feed your kids and keep your house!"

First of all Bob, can I call you Bob? No? Okay, I'll just call you dick face. I consider myself quite intelligent as I am able to distinguish the difference between the words "your" and you're. A skill that you are apparently lacking. I would also reconsider using your spell check because dude! Secondly, if I stop complaining just because there are so many other people in the world that are worse off than I am then all of that pressure would just build up in my system and eventually blow out of one of my orifices. I'm sure it wouldn't be pleasant so I'm just going to have to let it out. I will not stop complaining because someone else has more to complain about. If every person in the world did not complain because someone else had it worse then the world would be free of complainers with the exception of that one last person who has it worse than than the entire population of the world. So if I want to complain because I'm not happy with my job then I'm going to do it and you can suck it.

Tiffany0875 said "God you are suck a bitch. At least you have a job. My boyfriend was laid off from his factory job and now we have to move in with his parents and his mother hates me. She doesn't work either but she expects ME to pay her rent. She's so selfish. So stop complaining, there are people out here with REAL prblems. Okay?"

Oh my. I almost don't have to say anything about this one do I? I'm wondering if the first sentence is a Freudian slip. Miss Tiffany. Shut your hole, close your legs, move back home with your mother and watch the news. Watch the news twice a day. I'm begging you for the sake of everyone who has to share oxygen with you.

I understand that there are people who are struggling just to put food on the table and I'm sorry that such struggles exist but I am not going to shut my mouth because I am in a better situation than others. Everything is relative. I hate my job. End of story. I want to do something with my life that I enjoy, something I will be proud of, something that will not suck the life out of me on a daily basis. If I give in to this life of ho-hum, I'm not going to be happy. I want the happy. I want the fulfillment. I want to have pride. So if that seems outrageous to you because I'm an ingrate well then you can just suck it too.

Now where did I put my tiara?

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Speaking of emails and colons

I'm so getting in trouble for posting this, but I changed the identity so this person will remain anonymous.

This was an actual email conversation.


Jennifer: Hiya!!

Me: Hi! I have cramps. Love, Kathy

Jennifer: Ugh! I'm sorry. I'm constipated. Love, Jennifer

Me: You know, they make stuff for that. You seem to have an ongoing problem. Eugene started taking a Metamucil tablet every day and now...no problems. He no longer spends 45 minutes on the toilet trying to go. WHOOSH!

Jennifer: I'm going to get a colon cleanser this weekend and start taking something like that every day.

Me: Please tell me they don't put a picture of that on the bottle.

Jennifer: I don't think they put of a picture of that on the bottle.

Me: I hope not, imagine if your man-friend came over and snooped through your cabinet and found a bottle with a picture of an evacuated colon on it. Sexy!

Jennifer: Hahaha! Yeah, that will get me laid!

Me: Of course, on the other hand. He may think you did it for him. Ahahahaha *cough*

Jennifer: Bwahahahahahahaha! You're killing me here!!!

Me: You know I'm totally going to blog about this.

Jennifer: Ugh, ok.

So, thank you very much Jennifer for giving me material for my blog. SMOOCHES!

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